Moments: The One Where the Underground Impersonate Magical Lawyers
by insaneshadowfangirl
Summary: It's 'Harry gets a COMPETENT lawyer at the last second' with a twist! Our heroes are bored, so they go see the Oracle, who makes them read then sends them to Harry's world to try and defend the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Saddled-With-A-Ridiculus-Moniker from the evils of the Mom - Er Ministry of Magic. And, as usual, hilarity ensues. First in the 'Moments' Series.
1. A Bored Insane is Bad

Insane: HELLO MAI PEEPS! Have the very first story in my 'Moments' Series. I'll be writing this alongside 'IWKaGBaaWSiaBI,' which is too long of a title, even as an acronym, as a pair of short, two-to five chapter tales while I wait to close the poll on my next big story. A lot of these Moments are going to have accompanying drawings on DA (under the same username.) I'll let you know when this is the case. It's not the case here, though.

I don't own Sonic, Sonic Underground, or Harry Potter. I've just decided to play in some sandboxes.

A quick note: Sonic Underground is a TV show in Harry's world. A

That's how I'm going to explain how the Harry knows about the Underground.

~! #$%^&*()-

"I'm bored!" Insane whined. The Changeling was in her preferred form out of two (the one she was in and that of a human), of a violet-eyed, lilac-furred Mobian hedgehog with flicked-up quills, in a cerulean tee and violet skirt, black combat boots, white gloves secured with a platinum rings, a periwinkle blue veil-like scarf tied around one of her head quills, and of course her medallion, that of a treble clef and bass clef put together to form a heart.

"We could play a song?" Manic, her betrothed since infancy through some incredibly unexpected circumstances (Involving a large cask of wine, both of their mothers - Aleena and Magic - a signature in blood, a meddling captain of the royal guard, and a Gypsy dancer), spoke up, unsure.

"We already did!"

"We could go see the Oracle?" Sonic asked. No-one wanted to be around a bored Insane. The last time she was bored she almost burned Freedom HQ to the ground. On accident. With nothing but chewing gum and dishwashing detergent.

That girl made no sense sometimes.

"Okay!"

~! #$%^&*()-

"I'm cold!" Sonia snapped.

"Well it IS snowing, Nia." Insane pointed out. She was now in human form. Long, wavy, jet black hair with one large streak of white running down the side framed a pale, heart-shaped face and fell into usually laughing green eyes. She was still wearing the same thing, though, but the scarf - the only thing she had left of the now-Robotisized Gypsy Mobian cat woman whom had raised her - was tied round her waist.

The quartet were driving the van - that Insane called Fluffy for some strange reason - through miles and miles of arctic tundra.

And the on-bored heater was still busted.

"MANIC! WHEN ARE YOU EVER GONNA FIX THE HEATER!?"

"Ummmmmm..."

~! #$%^&*()-

"Ah! You're just in time!" The green anteater... lizard...cross-eyed... thing... exclaimed. "For lunch!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO FEED ME CHILI DOGS! I'M SO SICK OF CHILI DOGS IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!" Sonia yelled.

Insane sighed. "Sonia, you're being a Spiny Annoying Princess again!... Though you're not the only one sick of chili dogs." She glared at her future brother-in-law. He merely smirked at her.

~! #$%^&*()-

"Thanks, Oracle." the Underground chorused after a filling and delicious meal, the likes of which were rare for the always-running quartet.

Manic asked, "So what have you got for us this time?"

"You are going to go save an innocent boy from a terrible fate. To aid you I am going to give you four books and seven chapters of a fifth. Your task will be to defend him."

"Wait, that sounded almost like a straight answer!" Sonic exclaimed.

"Dude! Have you lost your touch?" Manic asked, grinning.

"Perhaps, perhaps not. Only time will tell."

"Drat!" Sonic whined.

! #$%^&*()-

Four books, seven chapters later.~! #$%^&*()-

Manic whistled. "This kid gets in almost as much trouble as WE do!"

"I always thought that was impossible..." Sonic mumbled.

"Nah, there's always someone better than you out there." Insane pointed out wisely.

"Or worse, as the case may be." Sonia added.

"Right you are, Nia."

"Are you done reading?"

"Yes, Orc. We're ready to protect this kid!"

"Ah, Sonic. Gung-ho as always. So are you ready, Princes and Princesses? When I send you to his world, you will be made to... Eh... blend in a little better."

"I think we're good, Oracle." Sonia said.

Green mist surrounded the four and they vanished.

~! #$%^&*()-

"Huh?" Insane intelligently inquired. (A/N: Alliteration!) Looking down at herself, she saw that they were wearing different clothes, although thankfully she still had her scarf and they all had their medallions. Insane was wearing blue robes, Sonic orange, Sonia green, and Manic red. But that wasn't the worst of it. They were all humans! Well, she was already a human... BUT STILL, it's the principal of the thing!

All of a sudden, before any of them had the chance to panic, they heard words from a certain book chapter they'd just read.

It hit Sonia like a ton of bricks, and comprehension dawned upon Insanity a second later.

"We're not here to PROTECT him, we're here to DEFEND him!"

Manic tilted his head. "Isn't that the same thing?"

"No!"

Insane sighed, as Sonia said, "We're not protecting him physically, we're here to defend him in a court of law! We're supposed to be his lawyers!"


	2. Fudge for Lunch, part one

Insane: This was supposed to be a oneshot but then I realized it was midnight and I wasn't in the mood to type 10K or so words.

**Bolded words are borrowed from the pen of J.K. Rowling, though the paragraphs are not necessarily in the precise order she placed them in.**

An interesting note; in the original writings of Ms. Rowling, Percy is officially introduced at the trail as 'Percy Ignatius Weasley' Despite the fact his full first name would be 'Percival'.

Currently listening to:

Original songs by ElectroKaplosion on Youtube.

~! #$%^&*()-

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Potter!" Insane ran up to the balding redheaded man and the boy beside him with messy black hair.

"And whom are you, miss?" Mr. Weasley asked.

"Insanity Switch. My betrothed, myself, and my future siblings-in-law are here today as Mister Potter's legal representation."

"Ummmm..." Mr. Weasley began. "Mr. Potter hasn't hired any-"

"Exactly! And he needs it! They've moved the hearing to RIGHT NOW, in front of the full Wizengamot!"

Arthur swore.

Green eyes locked onto jade, then roved over the green and blue haired boys and the pink haired girl that had run up to him before snapping back to hers. "Do you think you can win?"

"Not only will we _win_, Mr. Potter, we will _bury_ the Ministry of Morons. Guaranteed." Sonia promised.

"For free, dude!" Manic added.

Harry couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something familiar about these four. They seemed trustworthy enough, "Deal."

~! #$%^&*()-

** Harry gasped; he could not help himself. The large dungeon he had entered was horribly familiar. He had not only seen it before, he had been here before. This was the place he had visited inside Dumbledore's Pensieve, the place where he had watched the Lestranges sentenced to life imprisonment in Azkaban.**

** The walls were made of dark stone, dimly lit by torches. Empty benches rose on either side of him, but ahead, in the highest benches of all, were many shadowy figures. They had been talking in low voices, but as the heavy door swung closed behind Harry an ominous silence fell.**

******Harry dropped his gaze to the chair in the centre of the room, the arms of which were covered in chains. He had seen those chains spring to life and bind whoever sat between them. His footsteps echoed loudly as he walked across the stone floor. When he sat gingerly on the edge of the chair the chains clinked threateningly, but did not bind him. Feeling rather sick, he looked up at the people seated at the bench above.**

** There were about fifty of them, all, as far as he could see, wearing plum-coloured robes with an elaborately worked silver 'W' on the left-hand side of the chest and all staring down their noses at him, some with very austere expressions, others looks of frank curiosity.**

**A cold male voice rang across the courtroom.**

"You are late."

"I didn't know-"

"That is not the Wizengamot's problem, an owl was sent to your place of residence-"

"Which you knew very well our client was not currently staying at!"

"And who are you?" the same voice sneered.

"Insanity Switch, Manic Hedgehog, Sonic Hedgehog, and Sonia Hedgehog. We are Mr. Potter lawyers." Sonia stated calmly.

**In the very middle of the front row sat Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic. Fudge was a portly man who often sported a lime-green bowler hat, though today he had dispensed with it; he had dispensed, too, with the indulgent smile he had once worn when he spoke to Harry**. As a matter of fact, when Sonia had mentioned they were lawyers, his face had turned a very interesting shade of Weasley red.

**A broad, square-jawed witch with very short grey hair sat on Fudges left; she wore a monocle and looked forbidding. On Fudges right was another witch, but she was sitting so far back on the bench that her face was in shadow. **Manic made sure to keep an eye on her, his instincts - honed from years on the streets - were telling him she was bad news.

**'Very well,' said Fudge. 'The accused being present - finally - let us begin. Are you ready?' he called down the row.**

** 'Yes, sir,' said an eager voice Harry knew. Ron's brother Percy was sitting at the very end of the front bench. Harry looked at Percy, expecting some sign of recognition from him, but none came. Percy's eyes, behind his horn-rimmed glasses, were fixed on his parchment, a quill poised in his hand.**

** "Disciplinary hearing of the twelfth of August," said Fudge in a ringing voice, and Percy began taking notes at once, "into offences committed under the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery and the International Statute of Secrecy by Harry-James Potter, resident at number four, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey.**

** "Interrogators: Cornelius Oswald Fudge, Minister for Magic; Amelia Susan Bones, Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; Dolores Jane Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. Court Scribe,** Percival** Ignatius Weasley - "  
**

"Representation for the defense, Insanity Switch, Manic Hedgehog, Sonic Hedgehog, and Sonia Hedgehog."

**"Yes,' said Fudge again, shuffling his notes. 'Well, then. So. The charges. Yes."**

**"That he did knowingly, deliberately and in full awareness of the illegality of his actions, having received a previous written warning from the Ministry of Magic on a similar charge, produce a Patronus Charm in a Muggle-inhabited area, in the presence of a Muggle, on the second of August at twenty-three minutes past nine, which constitutes an offence under Paragraph C of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery, 1875, and also under Section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy."**

"Objection!" Sonic shouted.

"You can't object the _charges_!"

"Actually," said Amelia Bones, "They can, so long as they have a valid reason for doing so."

Manic nodded. "We would like to point out to the court that Dudley Damian Dursley, being Mr. Potter's cousin and housemate, was already aware of magic and thus exempt from the International Statute of Secrecy."

"Well-"

"Sustained." Amelia said before Fudge could react further. "You are, of course, correct, Mr. Hedgehog. The court drops the charges of Magic before a Muggle, leaving only the underage magic charge."

Harry blinked.


	3. Flaws and Promises A Future Princess

Insane: The usual, I don't own, I'm not making money, mango. This is short, and mostly discusses Insane. However, this bit of exposition is necessary. Sorry.

~! #$%^&*()-

Insanity Switch was well aware she had flaws.

Being an ice elemental with the bare minimum of control meant that she often froze things solid without meaning to, particularly when she found herself startled or emotional.

She was stockier than most young girls her age.

She was rather plain in her human appearance - unless you counted the white streak in her hair, a result of her uncontrolled ice.

Being a changeling was considered the epitome of bad luck.

A changeling with different colored eyes in both forms was even worse.

Her Mobian forme, in most people's opinion, made her something to stay away from like the Plague.

Off-from-the-norm-for-the-animal-colored fur on a changeling was just plain abnormal, and the mutated amethyst shards that were her eyes in that forme caused people to actually flee.

Add a Gypsy upbringing to that and she found herself hated wherever she went.

This was made worse for her self-confidence when you realized that her mother was a ravishing beauty in both forms, with immense power and perfect control.

There were times when, selfishly, she was glad the betrothal contract between herself and one Manic Hedgehog was unbreakable. She would be terrified otherwise that -despite his assurance that she was the only one for him- he would find someone better and break it off.

But if there was one thing the young girl prided herself on, it was her mind.

Sure thing, she sometimes (okay, often) thought and said things that didn't make sense, but when the time came that the Underground needed a logical thinker, she was right there at the front of the line.

Despite her quirks and her total suck-y-ness at math, Insanity Switch possessed an analytical mind that could put two-and-two-together like no other.

And right now, her analytical mind was whirring with the fact that this _farce_ of a trial was so obviously a poorly-planned set up that DINGO could've done better.

It would be easy to pull their trump card and just walk away, but they had PROMISED Mister Potter the BURY the ministry.

And what good was a princess who didn't deliver on her promises?

~! #$%^&*()-

Unbeknownst to her, The Oracle was smiling as he heard that thought.

~! #$%^&*()-

By unspoken agreement, it would be she and Sonia, the two with the largest, most refined vocabularies, would do most of the talking.

Fudge coughed. "The prosecution calls Mafalda Hopkirk."


End file.
